Every time it seems that a Republican might become President, those really bright people in Hollywood declare that they are going to abandon the United States. When George Bush became the head of our nation, Alec Baldwin (administrator of child development), Cher (giving up her 1,043rd Final Tour), and Pierre Salinger (former JFK press secretary) all promised to leave us to our misery. Salinger was the only one to follow through, and aren’t we the winners for his decision? He went somewhere and has never been heard from since.
This time when the unthinkable threat of a Republican President looms before us more people who can’t speak without a script are swearing to leave the country. Here’s the list, so far. You may want to make a note of this due to its importance in our lives.
Rosie O’Donnell is going to Canada. If she does, Canada will gain and the U.S. will lose 300 lbs of ugly fat as she crosses the border.
Cher is leaving us again (when she finishes her 2,087th Final Tour) and is going to Jupiter.
Eddie Griffin is going to Africa. Perhaps he will move in with Obama’s brother who is still living in that mud hut. (No kidding!)
Barry Diller is leaving, but doesn’t say where. What I want to know is: Who the hell is Barry Diller?
Samuel L. Jackson is going to South Africa. I thought he might go to Venezuela since he and Chavez were such hugging buddies.
Jon Stewart is going to another planet. Probably Planet Hollywood, if it is still open and serving drinks.
Omari Hardwick is going to Italy. I must have missed Omari’s string of Hollywood blockbusters, because he (or she, I’m not sure which) doesn’t show up on my Netflix library.
Well, I know we all want to wish these great Americans a safe trip and a happy landing. That is, IF we have a Republican President. If Hillary wins, they can all continue to raise funds for her and Bill and Chelsea’s charitable Foundation. However, they shouldn’t expect any “thank you” emails from her – her server is down.