Need a .38 caliber tomato?

I went to the grocery store today to buy some guns. What a disappointment! I went to the cucumber bin and there were no Colt .45 caliber guns there. In the sweet potato section I couldn’t find a single Sig Sauer .380 automatic. I was puzzled. Did I misunderstand? I checked the apple display and there was nothing there but apples, no Glock 9 millimeter autos. I asked a clerk where the guns were, and he just looked at me like I was crazy and went off shaking his head. I guess he didn’t get the word, so I continued my search. I went over to a sign that read “lemons” hoping to find at least one .357 Magnum. No luck. Nothing there but lemons.

Now, I look to our President for leadership and guidance. And when he said that it was “as easy to buy a gun as to buy vegetables” I believed him.

Maybe I should have been looking for “assault rifles” instead of hand guns. So I went back to the Idaho Potato rack looking for an AR-15 or maybe an AK-47 but there was nothing there except good looking potatoes. So I bought one and took it home and baked it and slapped on a ton of butter and it was really good. But I couldn’t find a single gun, not even an old shotgun in the vegetable section of the grocery store. Maybe I went to wrong one. Tomorrow I’ll go to another one, because I know our President wouldn’t lie. I really would like a fully-automatic MAC-10 and my wife has limited my use of butter. Some nonsense about cholesterol.

About johnbeckmanbooks

John Beckman, a retired meteorologist, was known as “Johnny the Weatherman” in a career that spanned forty years. He forecasted the weather on WSJS-TV in Winston-Salem, NC, at WFGA-TV in Jacksonville, FL, and for thirty-three years in Atlanta at WSB-TV and WXIA-TV. Also a well published author Beckman now devotes full time to writing fiction. He currently has several eBooks on, "Tropical Knights," first in a series of adventure/mysteries about a sailor and his lovely CIA cohort on a mission to save America. Now available the sequel, and second in the series: "Tropical Daze." The third Jack & Amy adventure is "Tropical Rage" which became available on 30 April 2014. All of his books are highlighted on and available from . .
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