How NOT to write a Novel!

I usually try to orient this blog toward the best methods of fiction writing. I like to offer tips and hints of things that have helped me write believable adventure/thriller/mysteries.  But today I am going to turn that procedure on its head. Because, actually, you can learn how to write well by NOT doing the wrong things. Here’s a review of book currently on Amazon as an ebook:

How not to write a novel:
1. Figure out plot.
2. Make all characters one-dimensional cardboard cutouts with no depth.
3. Do historical research by watching a few episodes of Mad Men.
4. Move cardboard characters s-l-o-w-l-y through boring plot.
5. All sentences, metaphors, similes, descriptions, etc. shall be written in plodding, pedestrian, really dull prose.
How did this thing ever get a publisher?
Awful, just awful.

 I couldn’t have done a better job myself of advising you of how to write a real loser of a novel. So all you have to do is make sure you DO NOT follow the plan laid out above. I can promise you that if you stay clear of any of those pitfalls, nobody will review your work with “Awful, just awful.”

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About johnbeckmanbooks

John Beckman, a retired meteorologist, was known as “Johnny the Weatherman” in a career that spanned forty years. He forecasted the weather on WSJS-TV in Winston-Salem, NC, at WFGA-TV in Jacksonville, FL, and for thirty-three years in Atlanta at WSB-TV and WXIA-TV. Also a well published author Beckman now devotes full time to writing fiction. He currently has several eBooks on Amazon.com, "Tropical Knights," first in a series of adventure/mysteries about a sailor and his lovely CIA cohort on a mission to save America. Now available the sequel, and second in the series: "Tropical Daze." The third Jack & Amy adventure is "Tropical Rage" which became available on 30 April 2014. All of his books are highlighted on http://johnbeckmanbooks.com and available from Amazon.com. . .
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